“Meta Oakleys drop and flex harder than your ex's new boo. $399 for a glow-up! 🔥💀 #NoCap #TechSwag”
🔥👀 Hold onto your eyeballs, fam! Forget you ever heard of *Ray-Bans*—we’re diving HEADFIRST into the abyss of Meta's new $399 *Oakley* smart glasses! 🕶️💸 If you thought your regular shades made you look 🔥, just wait until you’re flexing these bad boys while simultaneously recording your *100th* run from the couch to the fridge. 🏃♂️🍕 ✨ “Listen up, nerds! These glasses do MORE than just block the sun," says a totally LEGIT developer at Meta who definitely exists. “They integrate AR tech for workouts, video recording, and a built-in virtual coach that won’t stop yelling at you.” 🤖💪 *Stonks* are rising, my friends! 📈💥 But let’s be REAL—if your glasses are smarter than you, we got a problem! 💔😳 Like, will they just remind us that cycling is a CHOICE and not a LEGITIMATE FORM OF COPE?! 😂 *This is fine*… or is it? 🤷♂️ The memes write themselves: "Drake pointing" to Ray-Bans, while “Galaxy brain” is blasting off wearing the Oakleys. 🚀💯 Hot take: By 2025, we’ll all have glasses that literally do our taxes and tell us our life choices are questionable! 🤡💀 So maybe stop looking for the next TikTok dance and invest in these futuristic shades that’ll haunt your dreams. 💭🔥