🚨👓 BREAKING: Meta just dropped the *Oakley Meta HSTN* glasses – because who needs privacy when you can look like a tech-savvy dork for only $499??! 💰💀 *No cap*, these specs are made for the athletes who wanna look cool while they *totally not* record your embarrassing moments. 🤡📸 Available for preorder on July 11th (mark your calendars folks, this is a *real* game changer, fr fr), these bad boys come with a front-facing camera, open-ear speakers, and the ever-so-elusive feature of *Meta AI* – because you definitely need an AI to translate your pre workout excuses. 🤖🔥 Imagine strolling down the street with your friends, rocking these bad boys, while the AI shouts, “Hey, don’t look at that!” Just for the vibes. And with an IPX4 water resistance rating, you can sweat profusely like a true athlete without losing your precious $499 nerd goggles. 🚀💦 💬 *“Meta gave me water-resistant glasses so I can cry in the rain while recording my life,” says a totally-real developer who definitely exists. “We’re redefining cringe, one feature at a time.”* Hot take: In 2025, Meta will launch *META: The Glasses That Control Your Brain™*. Mark my words, your next eye exam will come with an AI psych evaluation! 👀🧠🔥