🚨🚨 BREAKING: Meta just dodged a financial regulation bullet, folks! 💰⚡ Like Neo in The Matrix, the Zuck and his minions have emerged from a CFPB investigation unscathed, and honestly, we didn’t even know they were in trouble 😳💀. In an epic SEC filing plot twist that’s juicier than your cousin’s wedding drama, Meta has managed to shake off the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau like a bad TikTok trend that *just won’t die*! 🙅‍♂️💥💔 But let's be real: Meta's ads are about as trustworthy as that “guy who knows a guy” at the bar. You know the one? “Invest in crypto, trust me bro!” 🤡🚀 #Stonks. Meanwhile, Meta's strats still make us want to yell, “THIS IS FINE” as the digital house burns down in the background 🔥🤣. Also, we overheard a “leaked” convo from inside the Meta HQ: 👩‍💻 Developer: “So, we never intended to manipulate people's finances!” 👨‍💻 Zuckerberg: “Just like we never intended to turn Facebook into a little shady marketplace for crypto scams, right?” 🔥🔥 Hot take: I predict Meta will launch a “soulful” financial service app named “ZuckCoin” that gives you happiness vibes but is actually just carbon offsets for their carbon footprint... No cap. 👀💀💰