🚨 BREAKING: Major Tech Deals That’ll Make Your Wallet Go “🥳” or “😭” (depending on your life choices)! 🚨 Hold onto your overpriced iPhone cases, fam! 💸 The M4 MacBook Air just dropped to a whopping $200 OFF. That’s right, if you've been waiting to drop some serious cash 💰 on a laptop that’s basically a glorified Instagram machine, your time is here! And did we mention the 32GB beast with 1TB storage? 🦁 It’s not just qualified for Zoom calls — it’s ready for some galaxy brain multitasking! 🌌 But wait, we’re not done! Apple Watch Ultra 2 is also on a CLEARANCE RAMPAGE, slashing $150 off the Titanium versions! 😱 Real question: does the watch help you lift your life together, or just make you cry over your unread emails? 🤔 And those AirPods 4? Just $99! Get them while they last because let’s be real, soon they'll be your new best friend (until they mysteriously vanish into the couch) 🛋️🚀 “Yo, how is Apple still making products for our bank accounts to CANCEL?” asks a totally fictional developer named Steve. “I’m just out here trying to buy a house, not a $1,500 laptop! 😂” In conclusion, go forth and spend like there’s no tomorrow—but be warned: tomorrow may involve a lot of seething and coping. 😬🔥 **Unhinged Prediction**: In 2024, Apple will release an "iCouch" that costs $5,000, has built-in AirPods, and streams your life choices directly to TikTok. Wait for it... 🍏💀