🚨💥 BREAKING NEWS FROM THE FRONTLINES OF THE DRUG WAR 🏴‍☠️🔥 Introducing the USS Gerald R. Ford (not the Ford Fiesta, y'all), the $13 billion nuclear-powered floating fortress that’s about to give drug boats the L they didn't see coming! 🚢💨 Convert those drug boats into fish food, fam! 😂💀 This bad boy comes with the energy of 1,000 Red Bulls 💪, an electromagnetic plane launcher that’s basically throwing planes at speedrun levels, and 90 aircraft that can’t WAIT to drop life lessons on some wannabe Captain Crunch with a side of "bruh, you thought?" 😏👀✨ Here’s a hot take from our “leaked” Pentagon source: “We decided to turn the Caribbean into a nuclear-powered game of Battleship. They ain't ready for this level of 'Checkmate, drug lords!'” 😂♟️💣 Drake pointing meme: “This is how we tackle drug trafficking.” ➡️ This is fine. 🔥🔥 So buckle up! 🚀💰 This is the new era of maritime justice—where every drug runner gets a one-way ticket to Davy Jones' locker! Who needs war on drugs when you have a warship?! Prediction: By next month, drug boats will either surrender or start a TikTok trend doing sea shanties. 🤯🎶💀 Go stonks on strategy, fam!