🚨💥 BREAKING NEWS: Your favorite Silicon Valley soap opera just dropped a new plot twist! 🤯🤯 Former Sequoia partner, Matt Miller, just pulled off the MOST EPIC heist since Elon sent a Tesla to space! 🚀💰 He’s just bagged a jaw-dropping $355 MILLION for his new fund, Evantic! 🙌 And guess who’s cheerleading from the sidelines? You guessed it—SEQUOIA! Talk about getting that good ol’ $$$ support while you're on your way out! 🤡💀 #InvestedAndUninvited: "I just need to take my money and go, fam. Like, I’m *still* in the ghost CEO chat with Sequoia, but now I’m ALL about that Evantic life!" - Matt, probably. 😂💸 So what’s the deal here, peeps? Is this finance's version of “This is fine”? 🔥 Or are we all just living in a giant meme? This smells like stonks for days! 💎🙌 Drake's giving us the side-eye: "Investing in Matt? Nah fam, that's a vibe!” Meanwhile, Matt's over here flexin’ like Dat Boi on a unicycle! 🐸✨ Prediction time! 🔮 I predict Evantic will either explode into the STRATOSPHERE or become the cringe meme of 2024—your pick! 🤪💭 Buckle up, tech world! #ChaoticFinance 🍿💥