🚨💣 BREAKING NEWS from the Fediverse! 🚨💣 Mastodon is turning into the *Wolf of Wall Street* of social networks... but like, if the wolf was a vegan and didn't believe in capitalism. 🦊🌱💸 Hold onto your hats, because this nonprofit is gonna start charging REAL DOLLARS 💰 for hosting, moderation, and support services! WHAT?! MaStOdOn iS nOw *paId*? 🤔😱 It’s almost like they realized “free” can’t pay the bills... 🥴 *Insert crying emoji here* 😭 SOURCES say (aka my Twitter feed): “Hosting isn’t free, *Karen*! You can’t just run a social network on good vibes and memes! 😂” - some dev, probably So while Threads is busy pretending to be the hip club and X is having its midlife crisis, Mastodon’s like that friend who suddenly becomes a life coach: “I have spoken to the universe, and now PAY ME.” 🚀🌌 Prediction time: in a year, every small business will be hosting on Mastodon while tweeting their business tips for a fee of $99.99/month... they’ll call it “Mastodon Masterclass” and it’ll be the new “this is fine” meme. 🔥🤡 #Mastodon #SocialNetworkWars #Stonks 💥💀💥