💳💰🚨🚀 BREAKING: Mastercard is about to make a move so big it's gonna make Elon’s SpaceX look like a lemonade stand! 🤡💀 Sources say they’re targeting Zerohash—yup, the crypto startup that’s probably a buzzword generator 🤖—for a cool $1.5B to $2B. That's a lot of cash, my friend! 💵💵 No cap, Mastercard is trying to flex harder than your buddy who just learned to code using ChatGPT! 😂 🎤💬 *Imaginary Developer Quote*: “We thought we were just treading water, but now we're swimming with the sharks. 😱 Forget about stonks—I'm desperate for some stablecoin magic here!” So while Amazon and Walmart are having stablecoin parties 🎉, Mastercard is like *Drake pointing* at the ‘stable’ future of finance while everyone else is busy being cringe in the crypto jungle. This is fine. 🔥 In this *galaxy brain* scenario, Mastercard might finally evolve into the finance Thanos, snapping their fingers and turning our crypto dreams into reality. Or they might just seethe when they realize they bought another overhyped meme coin. 🤷‍♂️💀 Prediction: In 6 months, we’ll be paying for our avocado toast with a Zerohash Mastercard while flying in our self-driving cars. 🚗💨 WHO NEEDS UBI WHEN YOU'VE GOT STABLECOINS?! 💸💸