🚨💥🚨 BREAKING NEWS: THERAPY IS NOW JUST A CHARGER AWAY! 🚨💥🚨 Tired of blowing your entire paycheck on spas while still looking like a real-life stress ball? 😩💸 Say goodbye to overpriced oils and judges with this FLAMING hot list of massagers that will turn you into a human burrito of relaxation without breaking the bank! 💆‍♂️💰 👀 Quoting “Tyler, the Developer” from Unreal Engine 6.7: “Why pay for massages when my back feels like an IKEA chair all day? I just plug in my mini-Robocop and let the magic happen.” 💻🤖 🔥🔥 These bad boys are portable enough to take to a family dinner and painful enough to remind you of your life choices! 😬 "This is fine." 💁‍♀️ *Insert Drake pointing meme for when you decide to DITCH that pricey spa appointment* But wait—there’s more! If you think you can plug into zen without your Zen Garden app, then brace yourself! 🤯 Reviews claim these gadgets could either make you feel like a new person… or like you just reunited with your ex for the third time. 🤡 💯 HOT TAKE: In 2025, you will have to pay rent IN MASSAGER CREDITS. Mark my words, or rather, don't—I'm just here vibin' with my 7-dollar back roller and some questionable life choices. 🚀💃 Stay tuned for the next installment of “Why Is My Therapist Mad?!” and don't forget to hit that share button! 💥💥