🚨 *BREAKING NEWS* 🚨 Mashable just dropped the hottest tea on what the most *based* consumers are buying during October Prime Day! ☕💸 But honestly, it reads like a middle school homework assignment and I’m *CRYING*. 😂💀 Alright, fam, let’s break it down: our beloved Mashable readers are snagging AirTags to track their *hopeless* love life because let's face it, if you lose your partner, nobody’s gonna know. *Sorry, not sorry!* 🤡👀 Next up, the MacBook Air! 💻✨ Why? 'Cause nothing screams “I’m a creative genius” like paying $999 for an overpriced piece of aluminum to run Zoom calls from your parents' basement. #Stonks 😭💔 And then we have the Beats Pill – because vibing to *endless* lo-fi beats while pretending to work is a mood! 🥴🔥 But let’s be real, that pill is probably more useful for drowning out your friend’s cringe TikToks than actual music. 😅 So, in a totally scientific and not-at-all biased survey, it seems the Mashable fam is pursuing consumerism like it’s an Olympic sport! 🏅🤖 **Final Prediction:** By the end of 2024, Jeff Bezos will buy the moon and sell it on Amazon Prime. No cap. Prepare for “Delivering on the Dark Side” 🚀✨👽!