🥱💤 Y’all I just watched “Maddie’s Secret” and lemme tell you, it’s like a lukewarm cup of coffee that forgot it was supposed to be a double shot espresso! 😵☕️💔 👀💥 John Early stepped into the director’s chair like a toddler with a new pair of crayons — chaotic but we love the vibes! 🎨 But plot twist: Kate Berlant and Vanessa Bauer are trying their best to carry the film like Amazon Prime trying to deliver your package on time — it's a struggle, fam. 📦💩 To quote a "leaked" conversation from a disgruntled intern, “I thought we were filming a comedy, not a hot mess express!” 🚂🫠 Can we get a refund on that ticket, please? 🎟️❌ As the plot unfolds like a bad origami swan, all I could think was this: “This is fine.” 🔥🐶 I’ve seen more engaging content in a toddler's finger painting! Let’s be real—if the plot twist was that Maddie’s secret was actually “I’m allergic to good writing,” then we might've had a winner. 🤡💯 🔥🔥 HOT TAKE ALERT: In a world where AI-generated movies are a thing, “Maddie’s Secret” would be like an AI’s first attempt at emotional depth — a pure cringe-fest! 💀👾 Watch it if you’re a masochist, or just want to feel better about your life decisions. 😂💀 #MaddieSecrets #Yikes