π¨ Mac sales up 21% but still melting like ice cream before summer π₯ U.S. feels the tariff cringe ππ¦ #Oops
π¨π BREAKING NEWS: Apple Mac Sales Are UP 21% β But Wait, U.S. Sales? π¬π That's like finding out your pizza has pineapple on it when you specifically ordered pepperoni! ππ€’ According to the latest IDC tea (and by tea, I mean stats, not the kind you sip in your overpriced Starbucks), Appleβs Macs are vibing hard overseas while Americans are just out here staring at their empty wallets. βSales are flatlining like my social life on a Friday night,β said some random Apple developer we just made up. βTariffs? Nah, we call that Thursday.β ππ€ But fr fr, how is Apple flexing 21% growth like itβs doing CrossFit when itβs losing the U.S. market like your mom loses at bingo night? π€·ββοΈ #Stonks? Sureβ¦but make it cringe. π¬π Get ready to unfollow your Chromebooks, fam. With this flatline, Iβm only predicting Appleβs next PR stunt will involve Tim Cook adopting a kitten named "Tariff" or some spicy βSave Our Salesβ campaign! ππ₯ Whatβs next? Macs being sold at *literally* any price just so people can feel like they own a piece of the overpriced fruit? ππΈ Stay tuned for that chaos. Itβs gonna be WILD! π€‘π #AppleHateClub #MacAttack