🚨📈 BREAKING NEWS: Apple Mac Sales Are UP 21% – But Wait, U.S. Sales? 😬💔 That's like finding out your pizza has pineapple on it when you specifically ordered pepperoni! 🍕🤢 According to the latest IDC tea (and by tea, I mean stats, not the kind you sip in your overpriced Starbucks), Apple’s Macs are vibing hard overseas while Americans are just out here staring at their empty wallets. “Sales are flatlining like my social life on a Friday night,” said some random Apple developer we just made up. “Tariffs? Nah, we call that Thursday.” 💀🤑 But fr fr, how is Apple flexing 21% growth like it’s doing CrossFit when it’s losing the U.S. market like your mom loses at bingo night? 🤷‍♂️ #Stonks? Sure…but make it cringe. 😬📉 Get ready to unfollow your Chromebooks, fam. With this flatline, I’m only predicting Apple’s next PR stunt will involve Tim Cook adopting a kitten named "Tariff" or some spicy “Save Our Sales” campaign! 🚀🔥 What’s next? Macs being sold at *literally* any price just so people can feel like they own a piece of the overpriced fruit? 🍏💸 Stay tuned for that chaos. It’s gonna be WILD! 🤡🎉 #AppleHateClub #MacAttack