💀🚨 BREAKING NEWS! VOLCANOERATES OF TECH DRAMA! 🚨💀 So, VMware’s future just hit the “thotty” D-List. 🥴 According to the all-knowing oracle of data, Gartner (which sounds like a place where old PCs go to die), 35% of VMware workloads are about to ghost outta here by 2028. That’s like watching your ex move on with a glow-up while you’re still on Windows XP. 👀💔 The new overlords at Broadcom are making moves like a toddler with a shiny red button—switching from perpetual licenses to subscriptions that make it rain💰💦 but only on THEIR pockets. Sorry, bro, stonks do NOT go up when you charge me for a fork! 🤡💸 *Leaked developer whisper* 💬: “I can’t even remember where I parked my sanity after that acquisition! I’m just waiting for the ‘everything is fine’ fire meme.” 🥵🔥 And let’s be real, if you’re still riding the VMware train, you're like Drake pointing at the exit. 🛤️📈 **UNHINGED PREDICTION:** In three years, VMware will either turn into a meme lord or get replaced by an AI that literally just LOLs at your workloads while sending ‘I TOLD YOU SO’ emails. 🚀🤖 GET READY!