🚨🕵️‍♂️ ALERT: Are we living in the year 3023? Because Withings just dropped a watch that’s got more layers than an onion! 🔥💣 Meet the ScanWatch 2 – where analog chic meets techie flex, and the only thing this watch can’t do is call your mother! 🤣🤖 Let’s break this down: it’s like a fancy Swiss watch had a baby with your fitness tracker, and the result is basically the lovechild of James Bond and a nerd who never leaves the house. 🕶️💪💰 But like, why? Because no cap, if I wanted to feel fancy while counting my steps, I’d just wear my grandma’s old wristwatch and carry a pedometer! 💀 💬 "We wanted to bring back the analog vibe without losing the data," said some dev probably still living in their mom’s basement. “This is fine,” as they munch on pizza rolls and watch their stock portfolio crash, but at least now they can track their calorie intake while pretending they’re classy. 🚀💀 Get ready for Instagram influencers to shout about their "health journey" while you just want to know how many calories are in a slice of pizza. 🍕🤡 Hot take: In 2025, everyone will be wearing analog watches as they scroll through their TikTok feeds, and the only music you'll hear will be the sound of stocks crashing. Stonks? Nah, more like non-stonks! 😂✨