🍕💅💻 Yo, fam! Buckle up 'cause we’re diving headfirst into the abyss of tech nostalgia with today’s episode of **Uncanny Valley**! Strap in for a wild ride with our features editor, Jason Kehe, who’s basically the Gandalf of screen time limits and flip phones! 🔮📞 First off, can we talk about the sweet, sweet return of **FLIP PHONES**? 🥳💥 Like, what if we just yeet our smartphones into the nearest lake and *strictly* vibe with our clamshell nostalgia? 🐚💔 “I miss texting with *one* finger while pretending I was on a secret spy mission,” said literally everyone over 25. 😒 And here’s the hot take, folks: the early internet was just a chaotic vibe of *Windows 95* and commitment issues—like, "Do I download this sketchy file or nah?" *Drake pointing* at the *less cluttered interfaces* of yesteryear like, “Based!” Meanwhile, Gen Z is out here swiping on TikTok like they’re fishing for compliments. 🎣💅 💀💬 “Yeah, I told my colleagues the early internet was better. They laughed and called me a boomer,” one dev secretly admitted in tears. 😭💼 🔥 So here’s my unhinged prediction: in 2030, we’ll be back to using carrier pigeons and AOL Instant Messenger for social interaction. **Stonks?** More like, **flop stonks!** 🚀💸 Keep vibing and share the chaos! 🥳💥