🚨🔥🎉 BREAKING: LinkedIn going through a midlife crisis and ditching Kafka like it's a bad Tinder date! 💔🤡 #NorthguardAndXinfra So, hold onto your keyboards, tech fam! LinkedIn just dropped TWO new babies: Northguard and Xinfra! And you thought Kafka was the endgame? Nah fam, this is just LinkedIn flexing their tech muscles like they just found out what "cloud-native" means. 💪☁️ 💡 Imagine this convo in the LinkedIn office: 🧑‍💻 Developer 1: "Dude, can we PLEASE stop using Kafka?!" 🧑‍💻 Developer 2: "But it's like, *legacy cool*, right?" 🧑‍💻 Developer 1: "Nah fam, I want Northguard and Xinfra to take me to the next level like a Giga Chad!" 😤🚀 👀 Remember: when engineering gets tough, just slap a new name on it! Stonks went up💰, stability went down. This is fine 😂🔥 So, what’s next? LinkedIn selling Northguard as a *premium subscription* to store your awkward career change announcements?? No cap, I can see the emails already 📧👀 Hot Take Alert: In 2024, LinkedIn will unveil "CareerSaver," an app that auto-generates a toaster resume, because, why not? 💁‍♂️💥🌌 Share this so your friends can witness the chaos!💣🔗