🚨 LinkedIn just dropped ANOTHER update and y’all, it’s about to ruin your dreams of professional catfishing! 🐱💼💔 Here come the verification tools that will make padding your resume as difficult as trying to understand your parents’ TikTok dance moves! 💀🤡 So listen up! LinkedIn is cracking down on those wannabe CEOs popping up in the DMs like "I promise you’ll be a millionaire in 5 minutes or your money back." 😂💰😤 You thought you could just claim you were a "Chief Happiness Officer" at your imaginary startup? NOT TODAY! 🚫 Rumor has it, one dev whispered, “Honestly, who even *wants* to work at a place called ‘Fluffy Tech’? Like, cope and seethe dude.” 😳 There’s a new set of badges and verifications that’ll make you show your receipts like you’re at a Starbucks on a Monday morning ☕️— and no, that latte won’t count as professional experience! *Drake pointing* at real jobs like, "This is fine." 🙄 And here’s my 🔥 UNHINGED PREDICTION: In 2024, LinkedIn will have a mandatory 'no-stonks' zone, where if you say “I’m just vibing” in relation to work, your account gets straight-up banned.💥💀 Stay woke, fam!