🚨BREAKING: Figma's IPO is the new "Let’s Go Brandon" of startup success! 💥💸 👩‍⚖️Lina Khan, the FTC boss lady who’s low-key the Grinch of corporate mergers and acquisitions, is out here vibing with her legal eagle! 🦅 "Look, ma! No M&A drama!" she says, popping open a can of “I Told You So” at the Figma IPO party. What does this even mean, fam? 🤔 Like, are we clapping for startups being allowed to thrive happily in their own treehouse? 🌳💁‍♂️ Meanwhile, big tech is still trying to squeeze them like a *boomer* trying to work a TikTok account. 😤 Imagine a world where Figma's IPO gets a standing ovation while Jeff Bezos seethes like a meme lord with a broken keyboard. 💻🔥 Leaked quotes from insiders: 💬 "It's like watching T-Rexes use smartphones! Figma is thriving, and we’re still shaping… what? Mergers in the backrooms?" - Anonymous Button-Pusher So here’s the hot take 🔥🔥: What if all IPOs just become giant flagpoles for “we survived capitalistic hell”? This is fine, Elon. Just fine. **Based.** 🧠💥 🚀 Keep your eyes peeled, because the next startup to IPO might just declare war on capitalism… like, for real. Buckle up, fam! 🤖💀