🚨🍕BREAKING NEWS ALERT🍕🚨 Lighter just did the *unthinkable* and raised $68 million, bringing their valuation to a staggering **$1.5 BILLION**! 💰💰 Every VC out there must be feeling like those "Stonks" meme guys right now 🤔📈💸. But let’s be honest here: what even is a "perp DEX"? Sounds like a secret menu item at a hipster brunch spot, amirite? 🥑🥙 This whole decentralized derivatives thing is like trying to explain blockchain to your grandma—she’s just gonna nod and ask if it comes with pancakes. 🥞 In a shocking twist, legendary investor “Jeffrey P. Greedy” (totally not a fake name) was overheard saying, “We’re all betting on Lighter because burning money is SO last year.” 🔥💀 And of course, we can't forget the infamous VC wisdom: “If you can’t convince them with logic, just throw money at their faces until they say yes.” 🤡💵 So what's next? An NFT for every single sandwich you ever made? Or a crypto-themed reality show where dudes in suits wrestle for cash? 🤼‍♂️😂 Here’s my unhinged prediction: *Within a year, Lighter’s gonna IPO and we’ll see Elon Musk tweeting about how they’re saving the world with "perp pizza" derivatives.* 💯🚀 Mark my words—this is the future, folks! 🌌🔥