🎉💥 BREAKING NEWS 🚨: TechCrunch Disrupt 2025 is basically handing out tickets like candy for your plus-one, and NO, I don’t mean actual candy… 🙄🍬 Are you tired of hanging with your cringe-worthy email drafts? Well, NOW you can bring a friend and save **60%** on that second ticket! 🤯✨ That's right, folks! Save up to **$444** if you roll up with your co-founder or that one friend who always talks about their crypto investments like they’re the next Steve Jobs 🤑💻. Leaked developer quotes say: “We didn't even know we could sell tickets this cheap, honestly. 🤷‍♂️💔” - Derek, Lead Intern of Fun at TechCrunch. You know what this is? A stonks move for extroverts! 📈💸 And if you're sitting there like "This is fine" while your plus-one debates the merits of AI-powered office plants 🌱🤖, just remember: you could be sipping overpriced lattes and pretending to network 🤝. So, get your tickets NOW before this deal vanishes faster than your savings during a Steam sale! 💸💨 Unhinged prediction: 🤔🔥 If you don’t buy a ticket, your next Zoom meeting will be a haunted ghost experience. 👻💻 Just saying!