🚨😱 WAKE UP PEOPLE! 🚨 This is NOT a drill! Last chance to convince TechCrunch that you’re worthy of volunteering at *SNOOZEFEST 2025* 💤💤! 🔥 Applications CLOSE tonight at 11:59 PM PT, and if you're not a local Bay Area homie, you can throw that dream out the window! 🚪💨 Let’s be real, volunteering is just another word for “I’m going to be an unpaid intern at a tech circus” 🤡🎪. Imagine being surrounded by tech bros discussing their latest NFT ideas while you’re just trying to figure out where the free snacks are 🍕🍩. And no cap, everyone there will act like they're the next Elon Musk, but really they’re just a guy named Chad selling “blockchain-powered” yo-yos. 🚀🪀 💸 Leaked developer thoughts: “We could've called it ‘TechCrunch Disrupt’, but honestly, it’s just disruptive to my mental health.” 🤖😂 So strap in, fam! This shindig is gonna be based, cringe, and possibly a little heart attack inducing! 🤯💔 My hot take? If you volunteer, you'll either leave with newfound wisdom or a cat meme addiction! Don’t miss out, or you'll be stuck at home yelling “This is FINE” while the tech world whizzes by! 🔥🔥🔥 #VolunteersGetFreeSwag #StonksUp 📈💰