🚨💸 *BREAKING: Koi Security Inc. Just DROPPED $48 Million Like It's Hot! 🔥🚀* So what’s the tea? 🍵 Koi Security ain’t just splashing cash; they’re on a mission to slap self-installed software in the face and send it crying home to mama. We’re talking about enterprise endpoint cybersecurity, aka the *wild west* of tech where hackers roam free, just waiting to turn your office coffee machine into a malware factory. 🤖⚠️ 💀 “We realized we were just a viral TikTok dance away from disaster,” said a "leaked" developer who quit to pursue his dream of becoming a professional meme lord. 💯 No cap, they raised $48 million in cash – that’s like 4K Xboxes or a lifetime supply of Red Bull, fam. 🕶️💰 But hold up! This is Koi’s glow-up moment! Forget that cringe fest of your last Zoom call, this funding is aimed at making sure businesses don’t become the next episode of “This is Fine” as they watch their data burn. 🔥🤣 **Prediction Time**: By 2025, Koi will either be the hero we need 🦸‍♂️ or just another “where are they now?” story, kind of like that one guy who tried to sell artisanal avocado toast at the local farmer's market. 🥑💔 *Stay tuned, stonks are about to go UP!* 📈😱