🚽💩💰🚀 *BREAKING: Kohler Just Gave Your Toilet the Spy Cam Treatment* 🕵️‍♂️💩 So, you thought you had privacy in the porcelain throne? Nah fam, welcome to the era of *TMI Toilets*! 🥴 Kohler just dropped the *Dekoda*, a glorified health detective for your bathroom 🥷🚽. This bad boy uses a tiny camera and spectroscopy sensors to stare deeply into your bowel habits. It's like having a health coach but for your poop, and frankly? It's *cringe* 😬🧐. "Bro, we’re basically sitting in our own toilet health reality show now," says one imaginary Kohler developer after 3 cups of coffee. "Just wait until it starts live-streaming your bathroom breaks on Twitch! 😂🎮💀" You’re now officially *too hydrated* when your toilet becomes a digital therapist 👩‍⚕️💧. Want to see your hemoglobin levels while you drop a deuce? *No Cap*, we’re living in the Matrix! 🤖💊 Meanwhile, if you're not drinking enough water, just know Dekoda's snitching on you. Look out for that “this is fine” meme when the toilet starts sending you cringe hydration tips! 🚨🚰🔥 🔥 *UNHINGED PREDICTION: In 2025, Kohler will introduce a self-flushing toilet that rates your performance with a 1-10 score, and if you don't make the cut? Prepare for an *unsolicited* "balance your electrolytes" text.* 🔥💀🙌