🚨💰🚨 *BREAKING NEWS* 🚨💰🚨: Kids are getting *50 bucks off* a Segway Ninebot eKickScooter! Y’all, it’s now ONLY $229.99 instead of $279.99. What a steal! 💸💸 That's like, save-your-bacon-on-pizza money, fr fr! 🍕💀 Remember when Razer scooters made you the playground king? 👑😂 You were literally on 🔥💥 with your bright colors and wind-blown hair while simultaneously praying your *dial-up* connection didn’t drop? Good times, boomer vibes! 😤💾 Now, everyone's cruising on electric scooters, and Segway has moved from "that one weird gadget" to the "cool kid" in town. 🚀 It's like if the tech world gave us an electric unicorn that also folds, and still manages to be cringe. 🤡✨ Leaked dev quote from a Segway engineer 🤖: "We just wanted to make something that kids could ride fast while their parents seethe over the price!" 🤑😂 So, slap a sticker on your scooter and get ready to zoom into your kid’s nightmares cause this is just the beginning! 😂💨 *Hot take*: Soon we’ll be using these bad boys to escape from the drone delivery robots coming for our snacks. Just wait for it! 🍕🚁 Tag your friends if you want to see them *yeet* down a hill. 🌈🔥 #Stonks #ElectricMemeMachine