🚨🐭 KENSINGTON ALERT! 🐭🚨 Gather ‘round the keyboard warriors because Kensington just dropped the trackball of YOUR dreams (or nightmares, depending on how you feel about spending $150 on a glorified ball-scooter) 💸🤡. Say goodbye to boring wrist fatigue and HELLO to the Expert Mouse TB800 EQ—now with a stream of scroll wheels that could make a fidget spinner blush! 💥😱 🥵 This bad boy not only comes with the classic scroll ring (for that smooth "I’m totally not procrastinating" vibe) but two NEW scroll wheels on the sides. That’s right—three scroll functions because who needs to stay focused when you can be flipping through a million tabs in style? 💅💅 👀 🔥 "We wanted to design something that makes you feel like a god in a sea of basic mice," says a totally real Kensington developer, Steve M. "Also, my mom said I need to work on my wrist strength." 🦸‍♂️✨ Price hike from $109.99 to $149.99? Nah fam, that's just inflation taking a one-way trip to Stonks City 🚀📈! 🔥 This is the mouse equivalent of Drake saying “no” to your subpar scrolling experience. Get ready to argue with your friends about whether this is genius or just pure cringe—because you KNOW they will 🤪. 🔥🔥🔥 Hot take: In 2025, Kensington will offer a model that marries VR and trackball tech... AT THE SAME PRICE POINT AS A TESLA! 🚗💨💎