🚨☄️ ALERT! SPACE POLICE IN DA HOUSE! 🚨☄️ 🥴 Y’all ever wonder what happens when *your* trash is orbiting at 17,500 mph? Say hello to Col. Raj Agrawal, the military's very own orbital traffic cop! That’s right, it’s like the DMV, but for satellites! 🪐💼👮‍♂️ Imagine him in an intergalactic high-speed chase, issuing tickets to rogue Chinese satellites while jamming out to "Bad Boys" on repeat! 😂💿 Col. Agrawal’s *literally* been tracking nearly 50,000 space clunkers 🚀💩. Is China sending over a space hotdog stand? Is Russia just vibing? No cap, it’s up to him to figure out if we’re about to get hit by a rogue sat or just some friendly alien Uber eats! 👽🍕 “Listen, if it ain’t an orbital threat, I just let them chill,” he probably said while sipping on that interstellar coffee ☕️ from some doe-eyed contractor. But if it is? 🚨 IT’S GO TIME! 💥 *BRB, buying my Space Force hoodie!* 🌌🌠 As we approach the *inevitable* space wars (no biggie, right?), I’m predicting that by 2040, Space X will be offering "Satellites Gone Wild" tours. Get your stonks ready! 🚀🔥💰 *This is FINE!*