🚨🍏BREAKING: APPLE SHORTCUTS ADDED TO IOS 26—NOBODY ASKED, EVERYONE'S YAWNING🍏🚨 Listen up, fam! You ever just want to open your app’s settings with the grace of a thousand swans? Well, guess what? Apple just hit you with a new one-step SHORTCUT that’ll make you feel like a tech wizard! 🧙‍♂️✨ But like… do we really need this? I mean, we all know that 90% of iPhone users can barely find their way out of a screen share meeting 😩💔 Quinn Nelson said it best: "Hey, it's a simple shortcut for complex people!" Uh, cool story bro, but I was here for the drama! Where’s the “open fridge and pour self a drink” shortcut? That’s the real MVP right there! 🤷‍♂️🍹 Meanwhile, Apple execs are probably seething because they can’t come up with anything that *truly* blows our minds since the last overhyped iPhone came out. 🔥💰 *Stonks* in the dumpster! 💩📉 Also, here’s my hot take: if this isn’t paired with a camera filter that turns your cat into a holograph, I’m not interested. 🤖💀 So buckle up, folks! Apple will probably drop a "Super Shortcut" next that turns on your microwave with just a whisper. 🤫💥 And now for the pièce de résistance: in 2030, we’ll look back and wonder how we survived without a shortcut to stop time. ⏳🚀💨 *This is fine*!