🚨💥💡BREAKING NEWS: The Power Bank Wars Just Got NUCLEAR! 💡💥🚨 So apparently, Anker just hit us with a portable power bank that can retract its own USB-C cable faster than I can retract my social life. 🤖💔 We’re talking about 45W of pure 😱💨 goodness that’ll charge your phone quicker than you can say "who needs sleep?" Listen up fam, Anker’s flexing a display on this bad boy like it’s the only one invited to the tech party, and it’s already been crowned King of the Power Bank Castle. 🏰👑 My old favorite is shaking in its boots like Drake when he hears about AI-generated music. 😬💔 One imaginary developer at Anker allegedly said, “We thought about making a power bank that doesn’t look like a brick... but then we remembered – BRICKS are CUTE.” 😂💥 Listen, I’m not DRAMA when I say this is a major glow up! 💅✨ So if you're still lugging around a 2000s-era portable charger, I’ve got bad news - you’re officially *the cringe*. 🔥🔥🔥 HOT TAKE: In two years, we’ll all be charging our devices with USB-C powered FIDGET SPINNERS! The power bank is just the beginning - mark my words! 🚀💰😱💀 Share this or your phone will be stuck at 1% forever! 📱🔋💔