🚨📰 BREAKING: A Fed Judge Just Said “Hold My Snacks” to the FTC's Media Matters Probe 💀🛑 So listen up, fam! A judge is throwing shade at the FTC like it's a TikTok roast battle and said that their snooze-fest of an investigation into Media Matters is a big ol’ “Nope!” 😳🚫 We’re talking about ads, antisemitic stuff, and a whole lotta “Why even bother?” energy. 🤡💼 And here’s the TEA ☕️: *Somewhere in the Judge's chambers…* 👨‍⚖️ Judge: “Hey FTC, you’re about to scoop ice cream with a fork. What’s next? A deep dive on why potato chips are not guilty of crunching too loud?” FTC: “But the data shows—” 👨‍⚖️ Judge: “STOP! This is fine. We’re out here surfing on a tsunami of cringe if we go down this rabbit hole.” Meanwhile, Elon is tweeting like he’s got stocks in chaos as the judge hits that “block” button harder than my morning coffee hit ☕️🚀. But hey, here’s a hot take: Next up, the FTC will investigate my grandma for talking about how "back in her day" Facebook was just a book and—boooom!—we’re living in a dystopian sitcom in 3… 2… 1! 🔮🔥💸 Share this and take a shot every time a government body fumbles! 😂👾 #BasedJudge #StonksOrDunked