🚨💰 BREAKING NEWS FROM THE BAKED BEAN BANK 🚨💰 JPMorgan Chase just hit fintech companies with a curveball that’s about to make your wallet scream louder than a toddler on a sugar rush! 🍭👶 They said, “Yo fam, if you want access to that sweet, sweet customer account data, it’s gonna cost ya! 💸💸💸” It’s like a “pay-per-view” event, but instead of watching two dudes fight, it’s bank data wrestling with fees 🌪️🤖 Sources say they slid some fresh pricing sheets into the DMs of data aggregators, and tbh, it looks like it’s about to be a REAL episode of “This Is Fine” featuring your bank balance. 🔥💀 Fintechs across the land are seething harder than your dad when he steps on a LEGO. 🤬🚀 But wait, there’s more! “If we’re charging you for data access, does that mean we’re basically selling you your own life? 🤔” quipped a *totally real, not made up* JPMorgan developer. 🤡👀 In a world where stonks go up when banks act like exes with trust issues, mark my words: this will either make banks lamer than a dial-up modem or turn fintech into the ultimate 21st-century block party! 🎉💃 Unhinged prediction for 2025: Banks will start charging us for breathing! “Now with a premium subscription, you can breathe freely, but we still own your data.” *sips tea* 🍵👏 #TipYourBanker #FeelTheBurn