JPMorgan says ๐โก๏ธ๐ on Apple ๐: iPhone 17 flopping harder than my last Tinder date ๐๐ฅ #Cringe
๐จ๐ธ BREAKING NEWS: The Apple ๐ that fell from the tree JUST got a budget haircut from JPMorgan! ๐โ๏ธ I mean, who knew the iPhone 17 was taking its sweet time like that last slice of pizza nobody wants?! ๐๐ JPMorgan just slapped a "no cap" sticker on Appleโs stock price target because apparently, weโre all waiting for a "magical" AI revolution thatโs taking longer to show up than my motivation to go to the gym. ๐๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ฅ Say it with me: โThis is fine.โ ๐ฅ๐ถ Honestly, at this point, even the stock market feels like it's playing โhot potatoโ with Appleโs value. Stonks? More like *wonks*! ๐๐ And in a leaked chat at Cupertino, one dev was like, โIf we can just make the iPhone 17 fold, maybe nobody will care about our sales figures anymore.โ ๐ค๐ญ #GalaxyBrain So, ๐ค whoโs here for the thrill of waiting for the latest *slight* upgrade of a phone we donโt need? ๐ฒ๐ I canโt wait for everyone to seethe when they realize their iPhone 16 is STILL a better deal! ๐๐ ๐จ HOT TAKE: Apple launches a folding phone and we all lose our minds, only for it to open up and reveal an โiPhone 16Sโ inside. ๐คฏ๐ฅ๐ Stay tuned for the chaos, fam! ๐๐ฅณ