🚨💰💀BREAKING: JPMorgan Chase just dropped a money bomb 💣💣 that’s more colossal than your ex’s excuses! We’re talking a dizzying **$1.2 TRILLION** in debt tied to AI companies! That’s right, folks! 😱💸 Forget about “investing in the future,” this is like putting your life savings into an AI that thinks it’s a dog. 🐶🤖 And guess what? That’s **14%** of the entire investment-grade market now! It’s like everyone in the finance world said, “Stonks only go up!” 📈💥 Can you hear my bank account crying? 😂💀 In a recent "leaked" Zoom call, one JPMorgan banker was heard saying, “At this point, every company thinks they can slap ‘AI’ on their business model and be set for life. 🤡 No cap, this is the wild west of finance.” 🚀🔥 Meanwhile, regular banks are out here with a measly **11.7%**—like they missed the memo and are still using floppy disks. 🥴🖥️ So buckle up, fam! We’re either soaring into an AI utopia or crashing harder than your WiFi during a Zoom meeting. Could this be the beginning of Skynet, or just a cringe-worthy episode of “Who Wants to Be a Trillionaire”? 🤔💥🤖 Hot take: In 2025, your AI toaster might just have more assets than your college degree. 🔥👀💀