"Jon Stewart vs. Elmo: The Epic Existential Crisis in a Hacker Den ๐ป๐ฅ Who's seething harder? ๐ค๐"
๐จ๐ฅ BREAKING NEWS IN THE LAND OF MUPPET MAYHEM! ๐จ๐ฅ So, what do you get when you mix a legendary comedian and a crimson puppet with questionable internet security? A cozy chat in a hacker den filled with despair and firewalls! ๐ดโโ ๏ธ๐ป๐ In a plot thicker than Spongebob's *secret recipe*, Jon Stewart held an EXCLUSIVE interview with Elmo after our furry little friend got his X account HACKED by some wannabe cyber-blacksmiths. ๐ฑ๐ #CHILDRENโS SHOWS HAVE NO DRM, Y'ALL! Jon was like, โElmo, whatโs the tea?!โ And Elmo, probably sipping the last drop of his security protocols, said: โElmo thinks hackers need to go do some laundry! This is fine.โ ๐คกโ No cap, Elmo definitely didnโt have 2FA enabled. *Cringe*. And in a leaked developer call, one anonymous techie reportedly said, โI donโt know why Elmo thought it was safe to post memes of himself doing the stonks dance. Unforgivable.โ ๐ค๐ But letโs be real: weโre one step away from Elmo running for President after this disaster. ๐ค๐ฐ๐ฅ 2024: THE ELMO ELECTION! Hot take: Next week, Elmoโs gonna drop a fire mixtape titled โCompromised But Still Cute.โ Whoโs buying this on Bandcamp?! ๐ฅโจ #ElmoForTheWin