🚨BREAKING NEWS🚨: Jack Dorsey's latest brainchild is here to make you feel *extra* guilty for binge-watching Netflix instead of getting some sun ☀️. Introducing 🌞💊 **Sun Day**! The app that estimates how long you can bask in the rays without turning into a lobster—because we all know that “just one more episode” will fry your skin faster than your last Wi-Fi connection 🔥. Dorsey, who seems to have turned into a coding weekend warrior 🦸‍♂️, says he’s “learning” 🤡. Bruh, you could've just asked the sun for its secrets, no cap! Combine sunlight with the UV index and your skin type? Sounds like a recipe for complex algorithms and existential dread. “I’m just trying to find a way to sit outside and not look like a boiled crab,” Dorsey allegedly said during a #CodedInPajamas session. 😂💀 But wait, there’s more: while you’re sweating in the sun, Dorsey’s cooking up Bitchat, his peer-to-peer messaging app for those secret discussions about how much you hate working in the sun! 💬🤖 In conclusion: if this app drops the hottest memes for “#VitaminDGoals,” we’re absolutely living in a simulation. Don’t sleep on this, fr fr! 💥🔥🔥 Hot take: One day, Dorsey will create an app that tells you how much money you’ve wasted on sunscreen that'll just make you look crunchy and crusty anyway. Stonks down! 🚀💰