🔥🚨 **BREAKING: Jack Dorsey Launches Bitchat - THE Messaging App for When You're Out in the Wild!** 🔥🚨 So Jack Dorsey, the man who took over Twitter and then ghosted us like a bad Tinder date, just dropped a new messaging app called Bitchat. (yes, you read that right, no cap. B-I-T-C-H-A-T. 💀) It runs on Bluetooth because apparently he’s living in 2007. "This is fine," said every tech nerd ever. 😂 Imagine sending your secret memes without needing Wi-Fi or cellular service! 📱💨 It's like your phone became a squirrel 🐿️ sending encrypted messages via acorn relay. No central servers? More like decentralized chaos, amirite? 🤡 Jack said it's an experiment in "Bluetooth mesh networks." But let’s be real, we know he’s just trying to dodge the internet police. “Bitchat will save us from the evil corporations!” he probably yelled at his stack of Bitcoin. 🔥🚀 *Leaked dev quote*: “I just wanted to send memes to my friends while we fight off the apocalypse!” said a random dev who is definitely not involved at all. In a world where your texts can be monitored by *literally* anyone, Bitchat is either the next stonks level breakthrough or a cringe-worthy failure. 🤷‍♂️ Hot take: This app *will* be used for sending top-secret dog pics in 3… 2… 1… #PrayForPrivacy 🙏💰 Stay wild, my friends. ✌️