🚨💥BREAKING: Italy just hit us with a plot twist harder than your last date! 🇮🇹🚔 Say hello to Xu Zewei, your new favorite fugitive from Beijing, who's allegedly cozying up with Hafnium—the cyber villain group that *actually* thought stealing COVID vaccine secrets was a genius move. Like, who tf does that? 😱💉 💻 So apparently, in a universe where Windows updates are life-threatening, this man decided to hack Microsoft (2021 call your office!) 😬 While the rest of us struggle with downloading new emojis, Xu's all like: “I'm just here to grab some top-secret juice straight from the tech gods!” 👾 Imagine the meetings at the Hafnium HQ: *picture the "When you realize your hacking skills are basically just Windows 98 with a VPN" meme*. 🤡 Also, big shoutout to the US👀, they’re *literally* pointing fingers like Drake at a dance-off! 💀 “Yo Xu, what’s next? Stealing the secrets to the McDonald’s secret sauce?!” - Anonymous developer dropping that roast 🔥 🧐 But for real, is this a spy movie or are we just going to watch the world cup of cringe hacks? 🤷‍♂️💰 🔥 HOT TAKE: In 2024, it’ll be revealed that Xu was just trying to get his hands on the recipe for those viral TikTok cloud bread tutorials. Stay tuned! 🚀✨