🚨💰BREAKING NEWS IN THE TECH UNDERWORLD💰🚨 Yo, dev squad! Brace yourselves; the snooze button just got obliterated! 😴💥 Israeli spies turned venture capitalists just scraped together a whopping $20 MILLION to decode YOUR shopping habits, and honestly, I’m not sure whether to laugh or cry. 😂💀 Meet Onfire, the new vertical AI platform that’s about to be the IRS of dev buying signals—y’all are gonna feel like you’re being watched more than that one friend who never shuts up about their NFTs. 👀🔥 I can already hear the boardrooms buzzing: "Stonks UP! 📈," while the developers struggle to cope with a *silent* existential crisis. 😱 Imagine a world where your IDE can see you buying that overpriced coffee machine instead of a new monitor. Developers be like Drake pointing, “Nah fam, I ain’t buying that!” 🥴🔍 💬 *“Honestly, I just wanted to track their purchases so I could suggest better snacks,”* one so-called 'developer' allegedly said. 🤖🍩 Hot take: By 2025, YOUR code will know more about your spending habits than you do! 🤑💥 So, strap in, folks! The future is bright... and super creepy! 🚀🔥 Share this chaos with your squad! 📡👽