🚨📱🌀 BREAKING NEWS: Your iPhone JUST became the most powerful scanning machine since that one time your homie tried to scan his brain for stonks advice. 💰💀 Say goodbye to ramen-flavored documents and YOUR LIFE as you know it! Introducing the iScanner app; it’s like sending your boring old paper to the moon 🚀✨ *with just a click*! 🌌💥 But wait—this isn’t your grandma's scanner! Fo’ real, the LIFETIME subscription is ONLY A$38 (originally A$307, but who needs sleep?!) 😱. Just use coupon code SCAN, and you're basically a tech wizard now. 🧙‍♂️🖨️ But let’s be real for a sec, this feels hella *scammy* 🤡. The only thing lasting “for life” is your emotional baggage after watching Netflix for 10 hours. This is exactly like that “This is fine” meme while your papers burn 🔥🔥. Like, did Apple run out of ideas or something? 😅 ALERT: Leaked convo from inside the Apple HQ: 👨‍💻 Dev 1: "How do we keep people addicted to our ecosystem?" 👩‍💻 Dev 2: "Slap a lifetime subscription label on scanning, fr fr." 🔥 So here’s the hot take: In 2025, you'll NEED this app to scan your future A.I.-generated love letters. Get scanning or get left behind—📸✨ this digital train is leaving, and NO CAP *it’s got room for your life goals*! 💀💔 #PanicModeEngaged