🚨📱💥 Hold the phone... literally. Here’s the *teatime gossip* we didn’t know we needed (but also didn’t ask for): This new iPhone speed test is about to either 😱 blow your mind or 🤔 make you question your life choices. Ladies and gents, it's the *iPhone 17 vs. 16 vs. 15 vs. 14 vs. 13 vs. 12* speed test you didn’t know you needed but somehow still don’t deserve. It’s like that scene in *Fast & Furious* but with more *cpu* and less Vin Diesel. 💪🚗💨 “Leaked developer quote” alert: “Why do we keep making these things faster? We just want to watch TikToks in 8K!” 😅🔥💯 But like, let’s be real. Is getting a new iPhone every year just tech's version of staring into the sun? 🤡😵‍💫 I mean, some people still rock flip phones. For real, Uncle Larry. P.S. In a shocking twist, *iPhone 13* is officially revealed as the *sloth* of the family – still going strong and slow, just like your last Tinder date. 🦥💔 🔥🔥🔥 Hot take incoming: The new iPhone will always be the same, and the only speed upgrades we need are in our hearts and the WiFi. 🚀💔 #Seethe #Cope