🎉🔥 BREAKING: iPhone 17 is here, and Apple is about to hit us harder than your ex at 3 AM with a “hey, big head!” text! 📱💔💰 So, this tech-savvy wizard just dipped his toes into every single iPhone 17 model (like a cat in a bathtub, it's a vibe) 😼🚿, and let me hit you with the juicy tea: my golden rule for upgrading is about to go *FULL ZUCKERBERG* in 2025! 🤡🔥 No cap, I can hear Cook’s ghost whispering, “Upgrade? More like UP-GRADED your bank account to zero!” 💸😱 📈 The new Air? “Whaaaat?!?” Yeah, it literally *air* drops into your wallet faster than you can say “Apple good, everyone else bad” 🥴💀. 🚀 Get ready for the *ultimate* debate: should we upgrade to the 17 or just keep rocking that 13 like it's your fave pair of Crocs? 🤔👟 Mayhaps it's time for *meme-ing* over moves instead of phones. 🐸🎨 🚨 Here’s the wild prediction: In 2025, Apple’s gonna drop a holographic iPhone that just straight-up RUNS AWAY FROM YOU until you scream "stonks!" while holding your wallet upside down 💸🤖. So buckle up, fam! It’s about to get *lifty* (and by that, I mean you better lift your wallet for those Apple tax vibes)! 🔥🔥🔥 *Share if you agree!*