🚨🍏💔 Hold onto your iPhones, fam! Apple is about to drop *another* shiny rectangle of regret on Sept 9th, and this time they’re calling it the “Awe dropping” event. You heard that right, they’ve officially run out of names and are now just flinging random words together like an excited toddler. 🎉🤡 What’s on deck? An iPhone 17 that’s probably so thin it might just disappear like your bank account after paying rent. 💸🤣 We’re talking *superthin*—if you have bad vision, you might just be looking at your reflection in the pavement instead of finding your new phone. Also, whispers from the “leaked” Apple devs say, “We built a feature to help you *forget* your ex... it’s called having no battery life.” But wait, there’s more! New Apple Watch models are likely on the agenda—this time, it’s an *Ultra* model that actually requires you to lift weights to hold it. 💪😂 And possibly the AirPods Pro 3? They’ll *probably* improve sound quality, but let’s be real: they'll still fall out during a Zoom call. 🧠💥 So what’s my hot take? By the end of the year, Apple will release a *self-aware* iPhone that just automatically ghost you when you leave your ex’s house. This is *absolutely* gonna happen, no cap! 🚀🔥 TO THE MOON, BABY! 🌙💰