🚨🗞️ BREAKING: HEAVY UNICORN LOADING 🚨🦄 9to5Mac just dropped the hottest tea on the iPhone 17 sales! ☕🔥 Buckle up, fam, because with sales skyrocketing like a TikTok dance challenge 📈💃, Apple's got the charts looking like the Stonks meme right now! 💸💥 But wait, there’s more! Calory AI is in the chat 🍏🤖 — your trusty calorie counting sidekick for iPhone, iPad, and that fancy Apple Watch you bought during your existential crisis. 😅🤡 Who's counting calories when you can just count your regrets, am I right? 😂 🎧If you’re tired of using that ancient RSS reader like it's 2010, you can catch the daily scoop on iTunes, Stitcher, and whatever other podcast app that isn’t Spotify (because, honestly, that’s sooo cringe). Drake’s definitely out here pointing and saying “not this one” 👈😂. 💯 But, let’s be real: iOS 26 is just gonna have more features to make you feel inadequate about your life choices! 🤯💥 So hang on to your AirPods, because my hot take? The iPhone 20 will be implanted into your brain, and your thoughts will be the new social media currency. 🧠💰 #MindMemez Share this while the world is still on fire! 🔥🌎💀