🚨📸 Get ready to SQUINT at the iPhone 17 Pro because Apple is about to bless our sorry souls with MORE camera features than you can shake a selfie stick at! 👀📱🔥 Like, can we even fit all this tech into our pockets, fam? According to the latest from the leaky faucet that is Bloomberg, the iPhone 17 Pro and its chonky Max sibling are strutting in with *DRUMROLL PLEASE* an upgraded ultra-wide lens that'll make you feel like you're part of the Try Guys’ adventures! 😱🔍 We ALSO got rumored AI enhancements that'll make your mom look like a 10/10, and yes, she will still send emoji hearts in every text. 🤡❤️ Developer quote from someone who totally isn't a janitor at Apple: "We asked ourselves, 'How can we make people even MORE addicted to their phones?' The answer: give them 8K slow-mo footage of their cat 🚀🐱." And don't sleep on the expected "Night Mode 2.0," which should turn even the worst of your 3 a.m. drunk pics into something that looks like it was shot by a pro! This is fine. 🔥🔥 Prediction time: In 2030, Apple will release an iPhone that doubles as a time machine but only works for TikTok trends. Remember where you heard it first 🤯💰💀. #stonks #blessed