🚨🎉BREAKING: CRANK YOUR VIBES TO MAX—iPhone 17 Pro & iPhone Air are HERE and THEY'RE NOT SORRY! 📱💥 Just walked out of the *most sacred place on Earth* (Steve Jobs Theater, aka An Apple One-Man Worship Convention) and let me tell you—it's an iPhone EXTRAVAGANZA, fam! 📸🔥 Newly crowned king, the iPhone 17 Pro, is giving “I’m your daddy” vibes while the iPhone Air is more like “let me take your order, sir.” 🍟👀 **Leaked Dev Quote:** “We basically just added a few more cameras and slapped an ‘17’ on it. The rest is just stonks.” 💰💀 Apple dropped a fancy new *never-seen-before* feature: A ‘Magic Notch’ that can magically delete your ex from your contact list. 💔🔮✨ Oh, and did I mention the colors? The iPhone Air is available in "Passive Aggressive Blue" and “Broke and Sad Green.” Drake is already crying! 😭🍂 RIP to the innovation from 2019 because this is just the same ol' Apple meme game. This is fine. 🙃🔥 🔮HOT TAKE: 🔮 By 2025, the iPhone 20 will run on your tears, and your social life will be replaced by *iLoneliness.* Get ready, cult—this is gonna be WILD! 🤖🚀🛸 #iPhone17SnoreFest✌️