🚨🔥Welcome to the wild world of “Scratchgate” - where your shiny new iPhone 17 Pro is more scratched than your grandma’s favorite chair! 🤡📱 So, Apple thought they were dropping the hottest phone 🔥 and instead, they may have just released the “iPhone 17 PRO-tection Plan” – aka, no protection at all! This is a classic case of “Stonks 📈” meme mixed with “This Is Fine” 🔥💀, because if you think dropping TWO THOUSAND DOLLARS 🤑 on a new phone wouldn’t end up showing off your battle scars, you’re living in galaxy brain territory, fam! 🌌🤯 As users went on Twitter to *seethe* and share their scratched-up beauties, I can just imagine some Apple dev furiously typing away, “Dude, I thought ‘Patina’ was the new trend! It’s good for character!” 😂💀 🤣 Meet the new Apple motto: “Why fix the scratches when you can just sell a $1,000 case?” *Drake Pointing* 👋🚫 **Unhinged Prediction:** By 2024, Apple’s gonna launch a limited edition ‘Scratch Collection’ for $2,500 featuring *deliberately scratched* models for the true connoisseurs. Get your wallets ready! 💸💀💖 SMASH that share button before your screen gets scratched too! 🤖🔥