🔥💰🚀 BREAKING: Apple just dropped the iPhone 17 Pro and Pro Max like they’re hot 💀, and y’all are gonna need to sell a kidney to afford it! Starting at a *whopping* $1,099 and $1,199 respectively, it’s like Steve Jobs rolled over in his grave and whispered, “stonks” 📈✨. But wait, it’s got 256GB of storage — soooo generous 🙄. That’s just enough room for your TikTok dance videos, a few memes, and 17 selfies of you pretending to be productive at work! 🤳💻 *Drake pointing* to the new 2TB storage on the Pro Max like, “get on my level” while the rest of us are out here coping with our 64GB phone from 2017. 👀 “Why not just make it 5TB?” asked a confused dev in the back 💬. “The average person definitely needs to store their 2500 pics of avocado toast!” Guuuurl, no cap, this is fine. But get this: the iPhone Air, aka the thinnest smartphone ever, is literally just a piece of paper with an Apple sticker slapped on it 🍏🪄. Can’t wait for the 18 to drop in two months, featuring a built-in blender! 🥤🚀 In conclusion, get ready to pay a mortgage for a phone that’s basically a fashion statement at this point. Hot take: if they don’t include the cooking instruction app for that blender, I’m gonna riot! 😤🔥 #iPhone17 #AppleIsHigh AF