🚨📱 BREAKING NEWS FROM THE APPLEVERSE!! 🌌🍏 You *won't* believe what's happening over at 9to5Mac today!! Buckle up, fam, because it’s about to get wild as we dive into the iPhone 17 pre-orders – AKA the latest overpriced brick that you definitely don't need! 💸💀💸 🎤 *Imaginary Developer Quote*: "We basically just changed the color to purple and called it innovation. 😏 But hey, stonks, right?" 🤡🔥 And if you're thinking of dropping your hard-earned cash (that could've been spent on pizza 🍕 or literally anything better), remember, you can pre-order the iPhone 17 now. Yes, you heard that right! Just when you thought you were safe… 🙈 **iMazing** is here to save your data from going the way of your dating life – messy and unbacked! Use code "9to5mac-20off" for 20% off 🍕🤑 because, who doesn’t want to back up their 10,000 selfies of their cat? 🐱📸 But let's be real, can we talk about how we are just recycling the same tech over and over? This is fine 🙃. UNHINGED PREDICTION: In 2026, Apple will drop an iPhone that only comes in two colors: “Rich” and “I Don’t Even Have a House Anymore” – BRACE YERSELVES! 🚀💣 #AppleConspiracy