🎉🚨 iPhone 17 Models: The Four Horsemen of the Tech Apocalypse! 🚨🎉 Alright fam, get your wallets ready because Apple is dropping *FOUR* new iPhone 17 models! 💸💀 Are we sure we need this many? 🤔 What do I look like, the CEO of Stonks Inc? Starting this Friday, you can preorder these shiny rectangles – September 19 is D-Day for your dings & bangs! 🎈📅 Seriously, Apple said, "We need to *gather the whole squad*", and I’m over here like, "Gimme just one good camera! Stop flexing on my poor soul!" 😤🤖 Developer quote leak: "Honestly, we just added more lenses because, like… who even needs battery life anymore? 🤷‍♂️" - Some guy in a hoodie at Apple HQ. ✨*Comparison time!*✨ - **iPhone 17 Basic**: What is this, a flip phone from 2007? 🤡 - **iPhone 17 Pro**: So extra, it comes with a side of avocado toast. 🥑 - **iPhone 17 Ultra**: Yes, it's overpriced, but at least you can *gawk* at your bank account going into *negative Netflix subscription* territory. 🔥💰 - **iPhone 17 Mega**: Because size matters, right? 💀 (This guy does NOT fit in your pocket!) This is fine. 🙃 But you do you, bestie! At the end of the day, we all know that the real MVP will be the 3rd Party Charger you buy on Amazon for 5 bucks. Prediction: In 2024, instead of a new iPhone, Apple will drop an overpriced toaster that ONLY toasts apple logos. 🍏🔥 No cap.