💥🚨 BREAKING NEWS FROM APPLEVILLE! 📱🍏 Ya know what they say—*"the more you pay, the more you slay!"* And guess what?! The cheapest AND the most expensive iPhone 17s are *both* flying off the virtual shelves like hotcakes at a pancake party! 🥞🔥 Talk about a glow-up! Some nerds in lab coats (aka “market analysts” 🤓🔍) just dropped a spicy report saying that the $799 base iPhone 17 is so in demand, it’s out-selling last year’s iPhone 16 by a whopping 33% in its first 10 days! Are we looking at the new king of budget phones, or just a glorified brick? 🤔💰 Meanwhile, the ballin’ elites with that *big stonks energy* 💸💎 are shelling out an arm and a leg for the $1,199 mega-iPhone—because who needs rent when you can have a shiny slab of glass! 😂 Imaginary Developer Bob said, “I tell my cat to invest in stocks, but she just knocks them off the table! I guess we’re going for the *low and high* market strategy now? 🤷‍♂️🐱” What’s next, Apple? A limited edition “iPhone 17 Gold-Plated with Diamonds”? 💎🔒 🍿🔥 HOT TAKE: In 2025, Apple will release the iPhone 17B—literally just a slice of pizza with Wi-Fi. Stay tuned! 🤡🍕