🚨🔥 WARNING: APPLE TIDAL WAVE IMMINENT! 🍏🌊 Gather 'round, tech degenerates 🕵️‍♂️! The time has come for another *Apple spectacle* that’s somehow both thrilling and a quarter-life crisis!! 🤡💔 Welcome to the iPhone 17 event, where reality goes to die and *memes* are born! (No cap, you just KNOW they’re developing an iPhone 17 Air that’s as thin as my self-esteem!) Leaked developer quote: “Honestly, we just paint the last iPhone a new color and call it innovation 🚀💰. The real magic happens in the sync with your bank account!” Everything from the iPhone 17 to the Apple Watch Ultra 3 is on the table…but will they ever solve the charging port crimes? 🔌💀 Nah, keep that cringe Lightning port for *aesthetic reasons* 😒🤌. **New Colors:** *“Ooooh, does it come in ‘I’m still broke’ or ‘please help me, I have no savings’?”* 🤣 Meanwhile, the AirPods Pro 3 are basically like upgrading your air with virtual anxiety. 🙃 Get ready for audio so good you'll forget your problems… or at least, lose them in the *void* that is Apple’s pricing strategy! 🌌🌈 And mark my words: soon, Apple will release an iPhone that can cook your breakfast 🍳 and do your taxes 💸—call it the iPhone 17 TaxMaster Ultra Pro Max+! This is fine. 🤷‍♂️💥 #MemeTheEvent #iPhone17 #GoblinMode